Paradox
by Anemone Kurai
Summary: What will happen when Kotoko is no longer the "idiot" that Naoki and everyone once knew? How will Naoki answer the long awaited question, "Why did you marry me?"
1. Chapter 1

This is after Kotoko leaves the house, after her and Naoki get into a fight, because he ignores her and he doesn't explain why. It's the part where she tells him that their marriage isn't right, it's not supposed to be the way it is (and if you watched the Taiwan drama, in this scene she tells Naoki that she's tired of it and asks him if he ever loved her and finally asks "Why did you marry me?" and then leaves the house. I'm using this scene because I found it to be a lot better than the way the anime played it out.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She laid in ICU, covered in blood. Every one of the family members rushed to the hospital as soon as they got the call from one of the nurses who recognized her as Naoki's wife.

_-----flashback----_

"_Irie-san? This is Tonan University Hospital."_

"_You're looking for Naoki? Hold on." Ma yelled for Naoki._

"_Hello?"_

"_Irie-san? This is Tonan University Hospital. I'm calling you in regards to your wife, Kotoko." As soon as he heard that his heart stopped. "She's been in a terrible accident and is currently in critical condition. They are prepping her for surgery right now."_

_-----end flashback-----_

Every one sat impatiently in front of the emergency operating room. All Naoki could think about was what his wife last said to him.

_----flashback----_

_Behind the closed door, crying.  
"Why am I the only one crying? Why am I the only one sad? You don't even look at me anymore. Do you even love me?"_

"_Calm down Kotoko."_

"_No…this isn't how it's supposed to be." Tears endlessly ran down her face, "Why did you marry me?" _

_----end flashback----_

That was the last time he ever saw his wife, now she lies there lifeless, on an operating table. While he waits, he is replaying that scene in his head. "Why didn't I go after her? Why?" A question that he, himself could not give a full answer.

Two hours passed and the doors finally opened. Nishigaki-sensei looked at him, and Naoki's heart sank. He knew that look, the look of bad news.

"The operation was a success, we stopped the bleeding, but there is a problem. There was too much blood loss and a clot lodged in the right side her brain. Be prepared, she may never wake up, and even if she does there no is guarantee she will be the same." Naoki, knew what he meant, he meant that she may suffer from brain damage, may have amnesia, it could be any number of things.

Two months have past, and she still hasn't woken up. The whole family comes to visit her everyday and Naoki has been by her side day and night. When he's not working he's right there beside her.

"Irie-sensei, are you going to see your wife?" He nods and continues walking.

On the other end of the hall, a girl walks around aimlessly, in pain but is wondering around like a lost child; bandages around her head, neck, arms and legs. _"Where am I? What am I doing here?"_ As she continues to walk down the hall, she recognizes nothing. Nothing seems familiar at all. She looks around and see's the TV and walks up to it. She places her hands on the screen and walks over to the seats. As she sits down, she stares at the TV blankly.

"Irie-sensei, are you on your way to see Kotoko?" he nods.

Motoki, "Please tell her hello and that we're all still thinking of her."

Naoki nods and continues to walk down the corridor. As he passes the waiting area, he see's Kotoko sitting, watching TV. He stops in shock because he thinks he is seeing things. Then Kotoko turns around and looks at him.

"Excuse me, can you please tell me where I am?" Naoki not realizing what she asked grabs her and hugs her.

"Excuse me, sensei…" she stood there stiff letting him hold her.

"Kotoko!" he yelled. "Let's go back to the room. You shouldn't be walking around like this."

Not knowing what is happening around her, she followed him back to the room. Naoki held her and cried. He couldn't believe she was finally awake after two months. He's wanted to apologize to her, he waited for this day to come where he can fully explain himself and apologize and let her know she did nothing wrong.

"Excuse me sensei, where am I?" she asked.

He looked at her with a worried expression, "Kotoko, don't you know who I am? You're in Tonan University Hospital. Are you OK? Does anything hurt?"

She looked at him and nodded, "No. Um…sensei…."  
Just then Naoki realized that caught up in the moment of seeing her alive, walking and talking, breathing, that she had been asking the same question over and over. Naoki gulped, "Kotoko, do you know who I am?"


	2. Chapter 2

She sat on the bed and shook her head. "I wanted to ask you something, is my name Kotoko? I really can't seem to recall anything." Naoki sat next her and could not believe his ears, the girl who swore that she'd love him even past death, could not even remember her own name.

"Yes, your name is Kotoko Aihara", he said to her. He thought, with the way things are, it's probably best to not overwhelm her with too much information. "I will have a series of battery tests for you, to make sure we didn't miss anything and that everything is okay."

Kotoko nodded and stared at him. "Sensei, you're so nice", she said with a warm smile. Naoki smiled back at her, it's been so long that he's seen that nostalgic smile that he almost couldn't hide his emotions.

"I'll be right back I have to make a phone call." He left, taking his phone out of his coat.

"Hello? Mom?"

"Oniisan, what's wrong?"

"She's awake. She woke up about 30 minutes ago." He could hear the excitement and screams on the other end of the receiver.

"We'll be right there!" and she hung up on him.

"Mo…" he wanted to tell her everything that happened but now it will have to wait till they all get there.

Kotoko, who was lying in bed, got up and walked over to the window and then started to walk around the room. The room had a fresh scent of flowers with the look of a hospital room. She walked over and opened a drawer next to the bed. She shuffled through the drawer, hair clips, a brush, a pen and some paper. She closed the drawer and opened the drawer beneath it. There was some more paper, as she is about to shut the drawer she see her name written on the piece of paper, "Kotoko Irie?"

_----flashback----_

"_You're name is Kotoko Aihara"…._

_----end flashback----_

"But sensei said that my last name is Aihara…" she looked at the paper and took it out. The paper just contained basic information. She heard someone coming and quickly put the paper back and hoped back into bed.

A nurse came in, "I'm here to take your blood pressure." As she wrapped her arm and began to take her blood pressure she started speaking, "Thank God you're finally awake, you don't know how worried Irie-sensei has been these past months, waiting for you. You are a very lucky lady."

"Lucky? Irie-sensei? Who's that?" Kotoko asked.

The nurse looked at her, "Oi, Kotoko that's really mean. How can you say that about you're husband! He's been so good to you too!"

Kotoko gave a light smile, "He has…?"

"_My husband? Irie-sensei and I are married?"_ she thought to herself.

Just then Naoki came in, "How is everything? Some people will be coming in a little bit to take you to get the battery tests done. Nurse can please refrain from anyone else coming in, unless they have my approval, that includes my family."

"Yes, Irie-sensei", said the nurse.

Naoki sat down next to her, "Is everything okay? I know you must be very confused, but don't worry, I promise nothing will happen to you." She looked at him and smiled, "Thank you." As they sat without saying a word, Kotoko became very nervous.

"Mmm, sensei…" she said in a low voice.

"Yes?"

"You're last name is Irie? What is your first name?"

"Naoki… Naoki Irie."

"Nao..ki.. Irie-sensei." She whispered to herself.

Just then Naoki's phone went off, it was from his mother. "I'll be right back. I have to take this." He left the room, leaving Kotoko.

"Hello? Mom?"

"Oniichan! We're here." He hung up the phone, only because he can hear his mother make a big fuss down the hall. He saw them and stopped them before they got any closer to the room.

"Mom, you guys need to come with me first." He pushed them towards the lounge area.

"What is Naoki?" His dad asked.

"I wanted to talk to you guys before you went in there."  
"Brother, is everything okay? Is that idiot already causing trouble?"

Naoki looked at Yuuki, "Don't say anything to Kotoko when you see her, actually I'm not even sure it's a good idea if you guys visit her, I think the only person who should see her right now is uncle."

"WHY!?" his mother yelled back at him.

"Kotoko… she still has a blood clot and even though she's awake, the result is she doesn't remember anything, she doesn't even remember her own name." His dad and Yuuki sat there surprised, while his mother started crying.

"What do you mean? She can't even remember her own name?"

"She can't even remember her own name, how is going to remember any of you? Right now I think it's just best if we keep everything simple for now, or at least until the test results come back."

Everyone was in shock. They were at a loss for words, especially his mom, who was so excited to her that she is finally awake only to come to this. Just then Kotoko's dad came running down the hall.

"My little girl's awake? Is it true!?" Tears ran down his face as he looked at Naoki.

Naoki looked at him, "Uncle… dad.." as he went on to continue to tell him the same exact thing he told his family, Kotoko's dad became heart broken.

"My little girl doesn't even remember me? How? What happened?"

"I told you, she has blood clot, it will go away, but that's no guarantee she'll regain any memories." He told uncle. "I think it's best if you go in first, you are her father, and right now it's best if it's only you. Please remember to be as vague as possible with information."

"Paging Irie-sensei, Irie-sensei, please come to the nurses station."

"I have to go." Naoki got up and left.

"What is oniichan thinking? He's so… why is he so cavalier about all of this?" she said.

Dad, "I don't think he is. It must be the hardest on him the most, but he also has his duties and knows what's best for her. Let's believe in him for now."

Yuuki got up. "Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom", he walked away toward Kotoko's room.

He reached Kotoko's room, but no one was in there. A nurse passed by just then, "Excuse me, do you know where this patient is?" He asked the nurse.

"She'll be down in about an hour or so, she's upstairs having some tests done."

"Thank you."

Yuuki walked in the room and sat next to the window. "How can she just forget about us? After all that we've done for her and brother, he waited so long with so much frustration and regret on his face that…" Yuuki couldn't understand what was going on, he was smart, and like his brother, when it came to matters of the heart, he is stupid.

Naoki walked in, "Yuuki, what are you doing here?"

"Brother, is it really true? Can she really not remember anything?"

Naoki looked at him, and by his expression, Yuuki knew at that instant it was all true. "Yeah, it's true, but I'm going to do everything in my power to bring her back, and you too. Don't give up on Kotoko."

"How did it get like this? I mean she would follow you like a puppy and walk through hell for you, even cheat death. How can she just forget?"

Naoki didn't know how to answer that, he knew medically why she is the way she is now, but emotionally he couldn't give an answer.

"I think I'll call her friend's come and visit, maybe they can jog her memory." Yuuki said to him.

"I'll do it. I should be the one to tell them what's going on."

"Don't worry brother, her annoying self will come back to you… and us."

"Yeah…"

"Remember, she's the girl that brother chose, so she can't be wrong." Yuuki said with a smile.

"Yeah" smiling back at Yuuki.


	3. Chapter 3

A couple of days passed and everyday Naoki came to see Kotoko, to give her a "check up". In reality, he just wanted to see her smiling face, because every time he came in she would give him a warm smile. Some of her nursing friends came by from time to time to visit her and chat, being very careful not to give too much information. Her friends from school came by; even Matsumoto Yuuko stopped by all hoping they could jog her memory.

Her test results came back all positive as well, so medically speaking she should make a full recovery. Kotoko's dad came by everyday as well. He brought over her photo albums so that she can look at them when she was feeling lonely (and also hoping that it would help her remember).

Days went by and ever so often she would look at one album at a time. It bothered her that she had so many memories and could not remember any of it. At the same time, she was feeling relieved as if a weight had been lifted from her. Looking at the albums, she grew up without a mother, so she had no memories of her anyways.

It's been two weeks since she woke up and it was time to leave the hospital. She herself did not know where she was going to stay. Jinko did offer her a place to stay, but Kotoko didn't feel comfortable. Naoki didn't know how to ask her to stay at the house, especially when he hasn't told her they are married.

He walked in the room and she was dressed and packing. "Do you need any help?" walking towards her.

"No, I'm fine thank you." She replied.

Naoki sat there watching her as she moved around making sure she didn't leave anything.

"Do you know where you will be staying?" he asked.

She turned around, "I suppose I should stay with my dad until I get everything figured out, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I've been thinking that maybe its best if I get a job, save up and move out so that I don't burden him. It must be hard to take care of a daughter who doesn't remember you… and I also thought that maybe I want to travel if I could. So maybe I'll try to study overseas."

Naoki sat there quiet and shocked this was not the same Kotoko that he remembered at all. He knew the probability of having amnesia was very high, but to have a complete change in personality. Then he thought to himself, "Wait, uncle lives with us… how are we going to explain this to her when she walks in, especially when mom hasn't seen her since she woke up?"

"Irie-sensei, Irie-sensei…" Kotoko waved her hand in front of his face. "Are you feeling OK?" She was so close to him, he wanted to kiss her and hold her, it's been months since they've slept together and he was getting very frustrated.

"I'm OK."

She put her hand on his head to check his temperature, "Sensei, you seem a bit warm, make sure to take some medicine when you get home", she said with a smile.

Just then her dad came in, "Kotoko, I've come to take you home. Sensei may I speak to you outside? We'll just be a minute Kotoko, wait here." She sat back down on the bed and the two went outside.

"Naoki, I know this is hard, and I've already talked to your ma. We've made arrangements to have her in a separate room we think this is best for while. You haven't even told her you two are married, how will she react when she goes back only to find out that you two are married and that you both sleep in the same room? We know she doesn't know anything, but I think it will be easier for her when she's finally home. We will explain about living there when we get there and let her know before you get home that you also live there."

Naoki knew what he meant, "OK, I understand."

"We've already moved her stuff out of the room and made one of the extra rooms her room." He patted him on the shoulder and walked back into to the room. "Kotoko it's time to go."

Kotoko grabbed her bag and turned to Naoki, "Thank you sensei for taking care of me all this time." She bowed and they walked away.

Naoki sat in the room not knowing to what to think. He's confused and doesn't know what to do. "Be calm Naoki, think." He thought to himself. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy living under the same roof, but separately, and how were they going to explain to her the living situation?


	4. Chapter 4

As Kotoko and her father drove to the house, she wondered what kind of environment she lived in. She secretly hoped that she would find clues to help her remember, but another part of her was frightened at what she might find.

As they pulled up, the Irie's stood at the door. Kotoko opened the door and looked at the house. "Wow, is this where I live?" she asked.

Ma greeted her, wanting to hug her and to her surprise Kotoko hugged her first. Kotoko felt some kind of warmth from her and it seemed natural. She looked over and uncle who was smiling at her, and at Yuuki who grinned at her.

"Come inside, your room is all ready," said ma.

They all walked in. The inside was painted white, with a shoe case to the left and a step. "Watch your step Kotoko," her father warned her. She slowly walked in further and noticed the glass table with a vase in front of her. To the left were the kitchen and the dining room; while to the right was the stairs to the second floor. She saw photo frames hanging on the wall but before she could walk there, father moved her over to the living room.

Father sat her down, "Kotoko we have some things to discuss before you settle in." She looked at him with a worried look, "what is it?"

The whole family sat down around her. "This is your family Kotoko. We are living here with the Irie's because we lost our home." She sat there quietly, waiting for him to finish. He gulped and sighed, "This is Irie-sensei's house. We live in the same house because," she interrupted him, "because we are married?" she said. They all looked at her, shocked.

Ma got excited, "you remember us dear!?" "No," she muttered, "at the hospital when I was looking in the drawers, there was a piece of paper that said my name, but it didn't say Aihara, it said Irie. Kotoko Irie. Irie-sensei didn't say anything; he told me my name is Kotoko Aihara. I figured he told me that for a reason."

"You used to be Kotoko Aihara, until you married Naoki," said Ma. Uncle put his hand on her shoulder. "Ma try not push too hard," he said.

"Can I go to my room?" she asked. "Of course you can, I'll take you there dear." Ma took her bag and led her up the stairs. As they walked upstairs, Kotoko stopped to look at the photos.

"Did you take the photos of me and Irie-sensei off the walls?" Kotoko asked. "Yes, we did," answered Ma, "Naoki told us you didn't remember anything and your father suggested we take them down."

"I see," she muttered. "How about my room, is it separate?" Ma looked at her and nodded. Kotoko thought it was strange. To be in a house with such a loving family, to find out that she is married to her doctor and yet she can't remember anything. She suddenly felt a tingling emotion of hurt and guilt. Looking at the photos, they all seemed to be in place, except for the ones of Naoki and herself. How it looked natural, yet this natural feeling gave her a sense of guilt.

"This is your room, your father's room is downstairs, but our room is just down the hall. Naoki and Yuuki's room is also right next to yours so if you need anything don't hesitate to ask. I'll let you get settled in, dinner will be ready soon so be sure to come down later and eat," Ma closed the door behind her and left Kotoko to herself.

Kotoko looked around the room: a bed with pink sheets, a desk next to the bed with all her books, a small table in the middle of the room, and a small couch behind it. She sat on her bed and looked at her desk. She opened the drawer and there was a letter that said "To Irie Naoki-sama." She picked it up and opened it.

"Nice to meet you Irie-kun,

My name is Kotoko Aihara from class F. You don't know me, but I know you. I've admired you for your intelligence and coolness after you gave the entrance ceremony speech," at that moment she had a flashback.

--start flashback--

"_Nice to meet you Irie-kun, my name is Kotoko Aihara from class F. You don't know me, but I know you. I've admired you for your intelligence and coolness," recited Naoki, the look on Kotoko's face as she realized that he was reciting her letter. "I have no hope of getting into the same class as you, so I write my feelings for you in this letter with all my heart. _

_Irie-kun, I love you,"_ he continued, and she slapped him.

--end flashback--

She looked down at the letter, "Irie-kun, I love you," she muttered to herself. Kotoko dropped the letter and had a feeling of embarrassment and anger. She couldn't help it, she felt an irritation run through her. She could clearly see his face as the scene replayed over; Naoki reciting her letter with a callous tone and herself slapping him as he had no remorse for what he did.

Just then she heard name. "Kotoko… Kotoko," Ma was calling for her. "Yes," she called back. "Can you come down here and lend me a hand?"

"I'll be right there," she answered back. "I better go wash my face first," she thought to herself. She opened the door and walked out of the room, "now where is the bathroom?" She walked down the hall and opened a door it wasn't the bathroom but what looked like, perhaps, Naoki's room. She stepped in the room and looked at a bare room. To think that maybe she shared this room with him. She walked around, hoping that maybe she could remember something, anything. But then she remembered she told Ma that she would help, so she closed the door and headed downstairs, forgetting that she wanted to wash up before facing Ma.

Kotoko walked in the kitchen and Ma handed her some dishes to bring to the table. Kotoko gladly helped her, placing the dishes of food and setting the table. As everyone came to the table uncle asked Ma, "will Naoki be joining us?" and just as he asked, he received his answer. Naoki walked in, "sorry I'm late," he said.

Naoki sat across from Kotoko. This was all too familiar Kotoko felt this feeling of déjà vu. Naoki was sitting in front of her, looking at her. He looked calm, but in the inside he wanted to cry. His wife, sitting across, was not making a sound all through dinner. Conversation was light and vague. He remembered Kotoko always trying to feed him; his mother and her making noise over an irrelevant matter. Naoki missed those days. He misses Kotoko.

"Naoki… Naoki," his father snapped at him. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, sorry," he answered. He looked at Kotoko who didn't smile or grin, just stared at him.

Dinner ended with an awkward silence. Kotoko helped clean up and put the dishes away, said good night to everyone and went to her room. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. The memory that she remembered; she couldn't get it out of her head. The resentment, embarrassment and humiliation she felt surfaced as she sat and faced Naoki at the dinner table.

She laid on her bed thinking. Then a knock on her door snapped her out of her daze. "Come in," she said. Naoki opened the door.

"The bath is ready, you can take yours now," he told her. She looked at him and he stared back at her. "Kotoko, I...," he started to say but she stopped him. "I'll take it in a minute, you can close my door now thank you," she told him. Naoki stared at her with a look in his eyes that resembled hers' when he recited her letter.

"OK." And he closed the door.

Kotoko hoped in the bath hoping it would relax her. She sat in the tub thinking of what she would do tomorrow, but she was so tired she couldn't even think. After ten minutes she got out of the bath and proceeded to get ready for bed.

As she fell asleep, Kotoko muttered something to herself in her sleep, "why?"


	5. Chapter 5

Note: I want to apologize for not updating within the past year. I didn't realize it had been so long since I last updated. I've been really busy. I promise to try to update as much as I can.

That night Kotoko had a dream. She was standing at the corner of a street, everything empty, dim lights, no cars, no people, just her all alone.

She woke up in a cold sweat and her head started to hurt. She got up and went downstairs to get some headache medicine. Due to night blindness, she turned on all the lights, one at a time. Making her way to the bathroom, she shuffled through the medicine cabinet looking for something to take her headache away.

Just then Naoki appeared behind her and grabbed the pills that were on the very top of the shelf. He handed her the bottle and thanked him. She went downstairs to get a drink of water and blurry images appeared in her head. She dropped the glass and Naoki ran downstairs to find her on the ground. He held Kotoko calling her name. Everyone in the house started yelling and asking what's wrong, but he ignores them and places her on the couch.

_-dream-_

"_Don't touch other women!"_

_Naoki, "Cut it out! You married a man who's planning on becoming a doctor, didn't you? Have some self-awareness! … How can I put up with your jealousy all the time? If you keep doing that we won't be able to be together."_

_-end-_

Kotoko opened her eyes with tears falling down her face. All she felt was hurt and embarrassment. Naoki, "Kotoko! What's wrong?"

Ma pushed him aside, "Kotoko-chan, is everything OK? Do we need to take you to the doctor?" "You have one right here ma!" said Naoki.

"I'm OK, I just need to sleep that's all. I had a headache earlier and when I came downstairs to get water, I started to have these blurry images and just right now before I woke up, I…" she trailed and just felt embarrassed. "I'm going to bed, I'll see you all in the morning."

"Kotoko," called Naoki, "I'm taking you to the hospital tomorrow morning, just to have you checked out." "OK" she whispered as she went back to her and tried to sleep.

In his room, Naoki laid in their bed, replaying both accounts. "That look she had just now was the same when we went to Hawaii on our honeymoon when we fought over Mari…" he looked at the clock and it was 11:45, "not even midnight." He continued to lie in bed replaying all tonight's earlier events. "The first time she sounded like me, this second time she looked as if I had hurt her all over again… what's going on? Is she remembering?"

It's 7:30 AM and the loud alarm woke him up. He looked at the clock feeling like he didn't sleep at all. "I need to take her to the hospital." Naoki got up, showered, and headed downstairs. Before going downstairs though, he knocked on Kotoko's door. "Kotoko? Kotoko? It's time to get up," he said through the door.

"Brother what are you doing? Kotoko already left with uncle," said Yuuki.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I heard them leave around thirty minutes ago. It was really weird to see her up early and not stumble. Why couldn't she be like this before?" and Yuuki left to go downstairs.

Naoki was troubled, everything was off. Not only was he feeling guilty of how he treated her before, he almost forgot the reason why, but now this, characteristics of his wife are fading in and out and he's worried as hell.

Naoki planned on meeting them at the hospital but by the time he got there he had just missed them. He asked Nishigaki-sensei the status, and reassured him that everything is fine with Kotoko, just that bits and pieces are coming back and that she should take it slow.

"Moving back in to that house must have sent information overload to her brain," Nishigaki-sensei told him. "Try not to push so hard, even the little things can set things off."

Back home, Kotoko sat on the porch outside, wondering what she should do. "Ma, can I talk to you?" "Sure."

Kotoko sat there quietly trying to figure out what to say. "What was I like? What did I do before all this happened?"

Ma sat there not sure if she should answer anything. "Ma, please, I really need to know," Kotoko begged her. Ma's heart sank and gave in. And in old fashion Ma way, she said with so much energy, "You and brother were happily married. He's a doctor and you were becoming a nurse to help him."

"That's it?" replied Kotoko.

"What do you mean?" said Ma.

"Well isn't there anything else I should know. Like how I got into that accident and why do I feel like I am embarrassment and failure when I see Naoki, but at the same time I feel like…" she stopped. She didn't want to say anymore. "I'm going to my room."

"Wait Kotoko-ch-," but she was gone before she could finish.

Ma was worried she sat on the couch thinking. Just then Pa came in. "Hey papa…" "hm?" he looked her. "Ma, what's wrong? You look like you're depressed again."

"It's just… well, I spoke with Kotoko-chan earlier. She started asking me questions about how she used to be," he interrupted her, "Ma don't tell me you told her! Naoki warned us not to."

"I couldn't help it! She begged me to tell her."

"And? What did you tell her?" he asked her.

"I just told her that she and brother were married, and that she was studying to become a doctor to assist him."

"That's all? Well that should be OK."

Ma had a worried look and tone to her, "It's not just that, she asked about the things that led up to the accident, and she acted as if she was disappointed that that's all her life was about… Brother…"


End file.
